Author Archives: submitter

Car Eyelashes

I got car eyelashes for Christmas this year from a close friend of mine. He told me that I had great eyelashes and he thought …so should my car! I laughed so hard I almost cried. This is a really bad gift. Carl, thanks but next year buy me a gift card.
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Creepy life size doll

My 3 year old daughter received this for xmas from my mother in law. She made it, which is very sweet, but it scares the sh*t out of me and my daughter isn’t quite sure what to make of it. It is a full foot taller than her! Wtf – please just make her a […]
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13 Going on 30

Not only are they seductive for the hubby (he can hardly contain his laughter – I look like a beached watermelon) but this clearly is the perfect gift from my Godmother to mark my right of passage into my mid-adult years. All that’s missing is the Barbie doll!!! SERIOUSLY?
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Bad Breath Tester

I know this is bad but I gave this Bad Breath Tester to someone in the office as part of the secret Santa office gift exchange last year. When I picked the guy’s name, I knew I could finally get my message across to him without personally telling him. Ever since then, his breath has […]
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Beard Head

My wife always wished I could grow facial hair but I have been blessed with a baby face. Facial hair is not going to happen. This year for my birthday she bought me the Beard Head. I hated it and it looked really stupid on me. I ended up giving it to my brother who […]
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Neckline Slimmer

I got the Neckline Slimmer from my kids on mother’s day and I have not talked to them since!
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Shoe polish set

Very very very very bad gift.
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Walgreens Flu Shot Gift Card

I can’t believe someone actually gave me a Walgreens Flu shot gift card for my birthday. Gift cards are already a bad gift in my opinion but getting a gift card for a flu shot that is even worse.
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Holiday Decorator’s Toolvest

Yes, the Holiday Decorator’s Toolvest is actually a real item and not an April Fool’s joke. My kids got it for my birthday because they thought I like to decorate the house for the holidays and this would help me with the chore. What would actually help would be if they offered to help me […]
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Sponge Deodorizer

I got the Sponge Deodorizer as a gift from my aunt for Christmas. She thought it was a great invention, I thought that throwing out the sponge in garbage and using a new clean one was much more effective. I can get a a whole package of sponges for a dollar so why would I […]
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“Snow” Globe from Hell

When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with a very socially challenged girl. For Christmas that year, she gave me something wrapped in wet newspaper that smelled, I kid you not, like horse manure. I wanted to wait to get home so I could dispose of it without hurting her feelings, but she […]
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A Pink 3 Year Old Tutu

My aunt gave me this 3 year old pink tutu with a matching pink headband for Christmas. See I’m 17 and very tall for a girl and the color I despise the most is pink. She and I didn’t get along this summer, and I know this was her revenge. I wear dark colors and […]
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My older brother has never given me a thing in his life, besides some bruises. Never a birthday or Christmas present. So you’ll imagine my surprise when this year for Christmas he said he had something for me and knew I would love it. I open it.. a SLANKET? Like a Snuggie.. but not? We […]
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Brief Safe

I got the Brief safe as a gift for my birthday. The brief safe is supposedly a security tool where you can place valuables in and since they appear to be heavily soiled no one in their right mind would look or dare touch. I thought it was a gag gift from my friend but […]
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Nose Hair Trimmer

A couple of Xmas’s ago I received a nose hair trimmer from my brother. Receiving a nose hair trimmer is already a bad gift but receiving one that is a shaped like a finger makes it a really bad gift.
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A Framed Picture of my Friend’s Dog

My friend gave me a framed picture of her dog for Christmas. And worst of all, Now I feel like I have to have this picture hanging up in my house in case she drops by. It’d be one thing if her dog was cute but he looks like……this! Worst Christmas present ever. lol
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